Feeling BLUE

Okay. Instead of doing productive things for school, here I go again typing away as if this is gonna raise my grades. Oh well, I don't care. I'm quite satisfied with how my orals in spanish turned out earlier today anyway. The teacher said to me "muy bien jessica" Haha! Was I good or what. Weh, yabang eh. Maybe it's also because of the fact that my partner wasn't prepared at all and I was. Well, just followed my prof's advice really, Be the agressive one. And so I did exactly what he said. I kept babling ang babbling like I have been speaking spanish since birth. And when I peeped at the score my prof gave me...well I don't wanna jinx it. Let's just say it made me verrrry happy.

Anyway, this day's been a really bad one (I even got allergy attacks. wth) but thank to that spanish final orals, it ended quite good. Physics was a major pain in the head again. I so hate physics. I think I will fail it. But!! I so need not to fail it. Anyway, this bad state I was having since last night actually, was because of the uaap game. I knoooooow. Very mababaw. But the thing is, it actually made me very sad, which actually made me realize how I really love my school. When ust was catching up already, I couldn't watch any longer and turned off the tv. Well, the thing is, I thought, maybe I really love this school that much to make me feel that bad. I couldn't even study at all all beacuse I was so bothered that we lost! Super naawa ako kay jc intal grabe.

All of this just made me think how when I was in fourth year, I didn't actually thought of what school I planned to get in. That time, there actually was no specific school that I really wanted to get in to. I was leaning to up actually. I was even thinking and saying how I'd choose up over ateneo if I pass both. (Which was very unlikely) But when the acet results came out and knew that i didn't make it, it's like a huge billboard suddenly jumped out of nowhere in front of me saying, REALITY CHECK: you have no school. And at that moment, I suddenly realized how I really wanted ateneo all along. I just didn't realize it earlier.

Now that I got in, there are doubts again of course. Maybe they always come with everything I guess. But as I go to school everyday and see and experience the culture, the place and the people, those doubts actually just fade away. Shet ang drama pero totoo. Well maybe Im just biased since I think more than half of my family went to that school, but errr I don't know. And so when we lost the uaap, I even felt more for the school. How I really want to be there and stay there until I graduate. (Pleeeeease let me graduate from that school!!) How I feel so proud when singing "mary for you, for your white and blue" And, like what I said earlier, how I really felt bad for intal when we lost. Awww. Just the look in his face says everything: he really wanted to win it for his school.

Okay. Now I think Im done with this shit and I need to do my work now, so that in the next uaap season, I'll still be wearing my ateneo ID.

[edit] To add to all that feeling sorry for jc intal, my kuya said how at the mass after the game, jc intal delivered his speech and was crying. Intal said that he felt he let down his team because he was supposed to be the one deliverng the winning shots, but he wasn't able to. Waaah! wawa! I hope he knows he did very well that game, and same goes for the team. The school's very proud of them! ;)